I started my search in familiar places. Some I entered quickly, rapidly, set my hand against the brick and ran my fingers against its cool smooth surface, and felt the crevices, and searched. I paused for a moment on the step as I closed my eyes and breathed in empty air that reminded me of nothing.
The pause. The replay. The pause. The replay.
Other places I entered hesitatingly, haltingly, walking along with a forced nonchalance as if I had wandered there (not) on purpose. Head down, raking the ground with my eyes only to give them a place to look at while I reached there. I stopped. Stared. Dawdled. Lingered. Felt nothing good, nothing happy. Only anger. I molded it, swallowed it. Retraced my steps back to the world of noise and people and...reality.
Other places I avoided completely. The alcove does not miss me. I do not miss it.
The search is not over. It shall continue.
